The Hard Answers


There are many different types of questions.  Some are simply a matter of opinion and others are more about the way things work or operate.  When it comes to how things work like a motor in a car, you can easily “web search” the question and get a ton of answers.

So lets focus on the questions that deal more with opinion.  These are typically the questions that people will answer in the most “PC” way they can.  They may even sugar coat the answer because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

This is similar to when you try to answer questions for the sake of answering them.  Both of these situations don’t build your friendship or relationship any better with that person.  It brings in a false sense of hope and even a lack of trust.

It reminds me of years ago when I was first learning leg locks.  I would tap many of my students and training partners pretty quickly with the leg locks.  They would tap early due to the pain and they would tap early to stay safe from the joint manipulation.

This built my confidence; but did not build my skill.  The test to this was the day I started wrestling a person I had never trained with before.  I saw the opening and went for my now “signature” ankle locks.  I got in the position and cranked…. and cranked…. and cranked his leg until I was blue in the face.  I remember it tired me out considerably.  We wrestled for a while longer and then eventually I was on top in his guard.  He applied an arm bar and I proceeded to “stack” him.  As I tried to turn out of it I got rolled into a prone or face down arm bar.  I was so tired I couldn’t respond quick enough nor tap at the angle.  That of course left us stopping when we both heard the “POP!!!”.  In combination with this and the fatigue of trying to muscle a submission, I literally had to pull over and puke on the way home.

I share this with you because when I was training I didn’t get what I call the “Hard Answer”.

The “Hard Answer” is the type of answer that maybe you don’t really want to hear.  It is the answer to your question that helps you realize what you really need to do.  It is the answer that only your true friends and family typically would give you.  It is the answer to both the type of questions that you might vocalized as well as those questions never even spoken.

What I mean by this is that people often just need help.  They are either afraid to ask the question or they don’t even know what the question is.  So, you see your friend really just going the wrong direction while driving.  Do you speak up?  Of course you do.  The same should happen in every day life.

Now don’t get me wrong, you can give the “Hard Answer” in a way that is functional and doesn’t destroy someone.  Make it positive, but real.  Not bitter and not sweet.

Help your friends and family out with the “Hard Answers” and become either the most opinionated person they know or the Rock in their life.  I believe this will give them a sense of stability between you and they will always trust you and look to you for guidance.

Guro Larry, Sonja, Lauren & Tori St. Clair

The Always Improving Martial Way Academy
Martial Arts Training and Fitness Education at its Best
Advocare Independent Distributor

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